In Your Atmosphere (Cover)
I was bored. Be kind.
Walk in the Sun, leaving the Island
This video isn’t very good. I was self-conscious about singing because there were people around, so I’m super quiet. I forget a chord at the end of the chorus. I wind up standing and walking around shortly after and you get a glimpse of my awkward jean-butt. And at the end, I have to cut the song short after the second verse because the tram had arrived to take us to the ferry.
All that being said, here ya go. I mostly wanted to record because I liked the scenery, and I was killing time. I guess everyone else was packing though. Oops.
progressiveresistance said: You know, it’s interesting because I think most people, when it comes right down to it, fear death for exactly that reason; the idea of not having the interactions that sustain them on a day to day basis is terrifying.
Do you think so? I guess people don’t talk about it much. The fear of the unknown, and the unavoidable yet impossible concept of a void, not even that, a LACK of even the perception of a void, are additionally terrifying.
Finally getting around to watching the Zach Sobiech video. Still in the middle of it now. Pretty amazing stuff. Very emotional.
I know a lot of people need this sort of thing, now and then, to remind them of their humanity, and their mortality. For me, it’s just another in a long list of reminders I’ve been having. I still think of Danny on a daily basis. Danny never got the chance to say goodbye to everybody. I don’t know if that’s better or worse. He didn’t have to be here for all the tears, I guess.
I also recently had a scare myself. I feared for my own life and for Zak’s as we were stranded off the coast of an island about a week and a half ago. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to dying, and Zak almost went under water in front of my very eyes. Like I said, it’s just one of the list of things that keeps me thinking about my own life and death.
What do I make of my life? I’m only here for a short period of time. So far, I’ve spent so much of my life in school. What is all this learning for? To build a career, sure. Why do I want that? I don’t want much from life. Now, after accruing such college debt, I need a career to pay all that back. Of course, without having gone to college, I would have never met the people that I’ve met, and made such great friends. Most importantly, I would have never met Kristen.
But what do I make of myself? How can I make my life worthwhile? I like to think that the best way to live ones life isn’t through hard work and accomplishments. I don’t need success. I don’t need recognition. I just want to spend as much time as possible with the people that I love.
It’s kind of hard to explain to people how I’m afraid to die mostly because I wouldn’t get to see them anymore. That kind of thing makes people uncomfortable, but I think it constantly.
Sarah and I are pet sitting this dog and he is so weird.
Reminds me of Kristen’s dogs…
Left: Seashell I took from the beach immediately after two friends and I were rescued from the open ocean, very nearly drowning.
Right: Muselet from one of the two champagne bottles that Danny left us. We opened them on the night of his birthday, which happened to be in the middle of our vacation to the island.
Citizen Cope - “Sideways”
These feelings won’t go away. They’ve been knocking me sideways.